Monthly Archives: February 2012

i’ve lost 12 pounds.  my jeans are looser, my face is not so puffy.  i’ve been punishing myself with jillian michael’s 30 day shred, my muscles are sore (in a good way) and i’m starting to see changes under all … Continue reading →

today i have an unknown sad. it’s a deep sad.  a sad that comes from way within and has no beginning and no ending. it’s the type of sad that sucks the wind out of you, where every single thing … Continue reading →

i have all these strange ambiguous feelings that morph into unambiguous feelings and then back again.  i’m not really sure how to put this all into words, but i’ll try. i go from feeling empowered and in control, proud of … Continue reading →

full disclosure, this entry has nothing to do with zombies.  i just thought that it was a nice  title.  sorry to disappoint so early in the morning. i’m super tired.  i’m not sure why.  probably because i have to get … Continue reading →

i am, as i mentioned before, on jenny craig (again).  i’ve lost 6 pounds.  i’m already completely obsessed by the number on the scale, but not yet at the point where i am restricting my food intake to such a … Continue reading →

i feel like i’m in a constant (minute by minute) state of flux.  one minute, i’m ok.  slightly hopeful, in “ready position”.  the next minute i’m despairing.  ready to jump off the ledge, worried about everything. it’s maddening. it’s crazy … Continue reading →

i’m feeling very emotionally overwhelmed today.  i’m not sure why. my eyes feel heavy, like i’ve been crying, but i haven’t. my body feels heavy, like i’ve been crying, but again, i haven’t.  it’s that emotional hangover feeling that i … Continue reading →

i started jenny craig again. for the umpteenth time. i’m going to be successful, i know it.  this time it feels different, like i can do it.  not different from all the other times i’ve done jenny in the past, … Continue reading →

Where do we go from here? How do we carry on? I can’t get beyond the questions. Clambering for the scraps in the shatter of us collapsed. It cuts me with every could-have-been. Pain on pain on play, repeating With … Continue reading →